Every day is a good day to help LGBTIQ+ communities feel safe, supported, and celebrated. For Lesbian Visibility Week in May we had the pleasure to interview Jules Stewart, a young LGBTIQ+ activist, who shared her story, talked about her struggles inside and outside the workplace, gave advice for LGBTQ+ allies and some awesome Netflix suggestions too.
Listen to the full interview here:
Read a full transcript of the interview below. Please note this text was transcribed from the audio interview and has been slightly edited but may contain slight errors.
Giulia Orsenigo
Hello, everybody, and welcome to the Cpl BeProud podcast. My name is Giulia and today in light of Lesbian Visibility Week, we have here with us Jules Stewart, a young activist of the LGBT community. Welcome, Jules, thank you very much for being here.
Jules Stewart
Thank you for having me.
Giulia Orsenigo
So, Jules, let's start from the beginning, tell me a little bit about your journey, if you'd like to share your coming out story.
Jules Stewart
I'm nearly 25 and I came out when I was 16. The first person I came out to was my mom. She thought I was going to tell her I was pregnant. I think she was quite relieved when I said I wasn't. She was very supportive, as was the rest of my family when I eventually came out to the rest of them.
I told each one of my friends individually, which kind of made it harder on myself - having to go through it multiple times, but, thankfully, I have amazing friends and family that were all supportive. I didn't get any negative kind of feedback or anything. So, I was lucky in that regard.
Giulia Orsenigo
It's awesome to hear that, and you have a girlfriend?
Jules Stewart
I do indeed, I live with her. She's at work at the moment, but she would have liked to have been here as well. We met in our old job last year - when I came home from Australia we worked in a cafe together. We didn't get together straightaway. It was a friendship built up over time and then romantic feelings started. We're both managing separate cafes now and we're doing quite well. I'm very happy.
Giulia Orsenigo
That's great. Now that you mention work, could you tell me what are the barriers that you find on a day-to-day basis both in the workplace, and outside that as well?
Jules Stewart
Well thankfully I've been very lucky. I haven't really experienced much negativity for my sexuality in work. The industry that I work in (hospitality) and cafe work is mainly young people and I find them to be a bit more open than the older generation, which you could probably find more in office workspaces.
The only trouble I'd have in work is coming out. People kind of always assume that you're straight, which is a little bit annoying sometimes. So thankfully, I do have my girlfriend to kind of tell people or bring up that I am gay. Whereas some people who don't have girlfriends might find it harder to come out to people in work.
That would be my only daily struggle. I definitely have experienced negative comments from people online, guys saying "oh, you're too pretty to be gay" or things like that. Probably the worst thing that's happened to me is, I was with my girlfriend at the time, someone screamed a really negative word. It didn't get to me too much, but it definitely would get to other people. Trying to change that sort of language that people use would be beneficial. Definitely.
Giulia Orsenigo
Of course. Is there any advice that you feel you would like to give to people that are looking to come out, both in the workplace or with their families and friends?
Jules Stewart
Definitely start with your closest friends, you feel safe around those people. If you're having trouble, wondering who to come out to then build your way from there. I do find that, thankfully, we've kind of progressed in the world, I think that it is more socially accepted, and you find more people are more accepting nowadays.
Giulia Orsenigo
That's great. So as you said, to raise visibility we're here to support all the woman in the LGBT community, from your point of view, why it is important to raise awareness and, and visibility?
Jules Stewart
I think it's hugely important to have visibility. It makes people feel more comfortable to comment when they see other people being proudly themselves. And whether that be in real life, or in TV and films, the more people who are out and proud exposes the world more and more to queer people and furthers people's acceptance.
Giulia Orsenigo
Exactly. And you did mention visibility in the media. Stereotypical portrayals often happen in TV and films. What are some of the places that get it right, and the ones that get it wrong?
Jules Stewart
I think nowadays, they're getting better and better at representation for any LGBT people. I remember when I was growing up, and most of the movies, lesbian movies that I found, were kind of wives cheating on their husbands and fiancés and bad kind of representation.
Whereas now I feel like, there's a lot of TV that shows a typical generation. The Fosters is more about their lives and being gay just happens to be a part of that. It's not necessarily everything about them. Like they'll show the daily struggles of being gay, but it's, it's more about just personal stories, personal struggles, which is more realistic than shows when I was growing up.
Giulia Orsenigo
Do you do you enjoy this kind of shows? Is there something that you know, you don't appreciate it? It feels maybe a little bit stereotypical, let's say.
Jules Stewart
I stereotype myself by watching a lot of movies and films, because there are gay characters but that's just my own thing. "Book Smart" and the "Miseducation of Cameron Post" are both on Netflix, and the Miseducation of Cameron post I would definitely recommend.
It's also a book that's more about struggling with coming age out and things like that. Whereas Book Smart, it's just the character who happens to be gay, but it's not really about the coming about journey, which I like. I like having both types to be able to watch - it doesn't all have to be sad; do you know what I mean?
Giulia Orsenigo
Of course, it doesn't. In terms of community, is there any maybe changes that you would like to see?
Jules Stewart
Whether straight or gay, never assume someone's gender. You just never know. When you do assume it makes it more awkward and uncomfortable for that person. If you assume they have to then wonder if you're going to be negative when they come out. And in terms of within the community, I know it's Lesbian Visibility Week but even within that, biphobia and things like that, I think we need to be more accepting within the community of everyone, because that's the whole point of the LGBT+ community is just acceptance of who people are. I think we can always work on it.
Giulia Orsenigo
That's great. And there is a pride coming up soon as well. Yeah, wrong. Any plans?
Jules Stewart
Not yet. Last year, me and my two friends created our own pride festival, because obviously Coronavirus was a big thing. But during the summer, we had a little outdoor gathering just for our friends, we had some live music. And it was great that everyone came together.
It wasn't just gay people, it was allies. And so, it was a really, really great time. So, I'm hoping to hopefully do a second one of that this summer, if possible.
Giulia Orsenigo
That's great. I'll hope I'll be able to join. And as for allies, what can we do to support the community the best way possible.
Jules Stewart
I just in terms of being an ally, if you hear something that might be homophobic or anything along those lines, just call people out. If they're your friends, you can easily call them out, it's not a big deal.
If you're in the workplace, and call people out, make people accountable for what they say. In terms of Hiring Managers or bosses, when they're interviewing people, always mention that we're a safe space for everyone.
Giulia Orsenigo
Yeah, this is a very good point that you brought up actually, did you ever had any not pleasant experience with hiring managers?
Jules Stewart
Not with any managers in terms of my sexuality. More in terms of maybe like, being a woman? That's a whole another issue.
Giulia Orsenigo
That's another topic.
Jules Stewart
I've always thankfully had good staff and good bosses and managers. I hope I give that safe space to other people as well. My employees.
Giulia Orsenigo
This is very refreshing to hear. And about your plans for the future. Yeah, what's in store for you?
Jules Stewart
Good things I hope anyway. In the next few years I hopefully will open my own cafe with my girlfriend Kira. That's a big dream of ours together. I'd love to be my own boss. As everyone would I'm sure.
I'd also love to go and travel New Zealand, I was going to last year but because of Coronavirus, I had to come home. So, I'd love to get back to that side of the world and travel a bit more. See the rest of the world.
Giulia Orsenigo
This is fantastic Jules. I really wish you all the best and I hope all your dreams come true. Is there anything else that maybe you would like to add?
Jules Stewart
Just be kind to people. That's kind of it, you know. Enjoy your life.
Giulia Orsenigo
Exactly. That's the essence. Of course. Jules, thank you so much for your time today for sharing your story. And we're really hope we'll be able to get Kira, as well, next time. And thank you very much again, and happy lesbian visibility week.
Jules Stewart
Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.